Die, Gilbird, Die!
by PrussiaNinjaJr
Summary: Parody of my amazing sister's wonderful FanFic Stupid Bird! Hungary goes crazy and kills Gilbird...and many others!
1. Chapter 1

Hey! Its PrussiaNinjaJr here, I hope you like this ff on my big sisters ff have fun readers.

**Warning: this is very violent and has a lot of swearing as requested by my big sis**

(Jeez kid you make it sound like I'm forcing you to write this -_-)

XD hope you like it! Tell me what you think!

* * *

><p>Prussia and Hungary went to a nice little resort for their honeymoon. It was by a forest.<p>

It didn't take long for Elizaveta to get fed up with Gilbert's pet bird Gilbird. She wanted to assassinate it by the third day. It would chirp its annoying little song from morning to night. She had insisted on bringing her frying pan. Gilbert thought that was kind of odd, but he didn't say anything. She loved her frying pan! It was perfect; no one ever saw it as a weapon so it was super easy to travel with. She knew she would use it on that little shit ball of feathers any day now.

The love of her life was about to go invade another country.

"Love you Lizzie!" he said, kissing her cheek as he left,"I'm going now."

She sighed as he pulled away.

"Gilbird is sleeping in his cage. Take good care of him he's my best friend…" he smirked.

"…have fun," she mumbled, "I'll miss you."

She was so pissed. She had married this guy thinking that she was his best friend. What the fuck? IT was a fucking bird! Who the hell is best friends with a bird? It was time for that son of a bitch to die and go to hell.

Natalya was also staying in the resort. She was on the second floor, taking care of a girl who made the mistake of flirting with her beloved Ivan. Right when she had her target in place her cell phone ring.

"Who the fuck is this?" she hissed, "I'm busy!"

"It's me, Liz," she said, "I'm about top go kill someone and I wanted to know if you want to join me."

"Sorry, I have to kill this fucking bitch first, be right back…"

Elizaveta heard the shriek of a women getting stabbed upstairs.

"Sorry about that." Natalya said, picking up the phone.

"So, are you coming or what?"

Two minutes later she heard a door knock and her awesome best friend came to help her obliterate her enemy.

"Do you have your knife?"

"Pffft! Obviously," she snorted, "So where is this bastard?"

"He's sleeping on the couch,"

They crept up to the sleeping animal. Poor bastard won't know what hit him.

"Ready?" Elizaveta whispered.

Natalia smiled and stabbed the puny little asshole. Elizaveta hit him with her pan twice. He began to bleed. Elizaveta glared at it. She hated that it was so weak and couldn't handle a simple beating! They continued beating the bird with all their strength. When he had finally bled to death, she realized that he had been sleeping on her favorite war outfit. She screamed and kept beating the corpse even more.

She took the little piece of shit and put him in Roderick's mail box. He was the perfect bastard to blame its death on.

She picked up her favorite garment and saw that the fucking bird's blood had gone through her outfit and onto her love's white blouse. She put the clothes in the wash.

Natalia left. She wanted to go back to her Ivan who was in Florida for preparing for the next G8 meeting. Elizaveta went and dumped a ton of yellow feathers in and around Roderick's mailbox. When all the evidence was gone her precious Gilbert came back.

"Hey beautiful," he said kissing her.

Elizaveta smiled. Now that the stupid bird was gone, she was number one in his heart.

"Hey where's Gilbird?" he exclaimed, looking at the opened cage door.

"What do you mean he was right over …Oh My Lord! Where could he have gone?"

"Did he fly away? I'm gonna go look for him!" he shouted.

She wanted him to pay more fucking attention to her and not that damn bird! He left the room, then opened the door again.

"You gonna help me?" he said with a sad face.

"Sure, I'll help," she said.

He turned around and didn't see the disgusted look on her face. She pretended to search for the bird.

He went to the foyer and asked everyone if they had seen a cute yellow bird. They searched the whole building even though she knew the shit bag was in that asshole, Roderick's fucking mail box. Elizaveta was pissed off. Gilbert loved that fuckin bird way too much.

When they got back to their room, Elizaveta screamed. Her love run towards her when she was on the floor fake crying.

"Lizzie?" he said worried.

Finally, the attention she wants…

"…Gil…Gilbird… Roder…ick's mail…box…"she stuttered in between fake sobs.

She was such a fake and she was so terribly good at it. He looked in the mail box seeing his little bird pummeled ,deformed, distorted, soaked in blood…

"FUCK THAT BASTARD!" he shouted, "OPEN THIS FUCKIN DOOR RODERICK OR I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!"

Of course he wasn't there. Gilbert knocked the door down and Elizaveta momentarily regretted killing the shit bird, seeing her love this upset. She hated the little asshole so much she didn't care any more.

"Eh? Gilbert what are you doing to my room?"

Mathew came in, stunned to find Liz crying on the floor and Gilbert pissed as hell. Shit. She thought Roderick's room was here, but it was one room over.

"You murderer!" Gilbert shouted as he started strangling the confused Canadian.

"Stop…I didn't…Gilbert…" he begged.

Gilbert let go.

"What ever happened, it wasn't me!" Mathew explained, "I was out with Katyusha this whole time…"

"Then why is Gilbird in you're mail box?"

Damn! He might figure it out!

"Roderick probably put Gilbird in his mail box to frame him! That manipulative bastard!" she shouted.

Gilbert looked at the feathers that lead from Mathew's mail box to next door.

"This doesn't seem right…" the confused Canadian said.

He was too smart! She had to dispose of him and fast! His phone rang.

"Hello? Oh it's you Al… no I do not want to go to a club and meet girls! One sec."

He coverd his cell with his hand.

"Hey Gil, do you wanna go for a drink with Al and Iggy and the other guys?"

"Sure!"

He grinned, kissed Elizaveta goodbye and went on to his friends. Mathew made it so easy to get rid of her love…damn idiot. Now they'd be alone. It was the perfect opportunity to finish him off.

**Hi its me hope you like my first chapter tell me what you think I want to know if this is good oh and sorry about it my big sis wanted it to be really really really really violent and sweary…yeah…XD **

**PrussiaNinja:**

**I don't think "sweary" is a word kid…maybe you mean vulgar?**

**And stop making it sound like I'm forcing you to write this!**

**Lol I love how you spelt Iggy! (**Eggey) This is why you need me as a beat reader XD


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 **

**Have fun! Sorry to all France lovers but this is his end… Jeanne d'Arc is mentioned in this chapter too. **** I need requests for who to kill! Please… anybody… XD See ya!**

The next morning, Elizaveta realized that her darling Gilbert hadn't come back last night. She wondered if he was okay. She opened the door finding two drunken countries on the floor. Surprised, she picked them up.

"Hey Gilly?" She dropped him off on the couch.

"ZZZ…" The other country was France. He was really out.

She needed to close the door so she left him for a minute. When she returned, she slapped France multiple times. He woke up, startled.

"What the hell are doing here, idiot?" Elizaveta asked.

"Oh Gilbert…" France got up to check up on Gilbert, getting too close for her liking.

"Idiot! Get away from him!" Elizaveta hit him with her epic pan.

"Ouch! No need to get violent, you know you could kill someone with that…hon hon hon hon hon, hon…"

thought that she _should_ just kill him, he could blow her cover. "Can I show you something?"

He nodded with a big smile.

Elizaveta brought France to a forest, and knocked him out with her pan. She tied him to a tree.

Half an hour later he regained consciousness.

"M…mais c'est quoi ça?" He said, looking at the rope surrounding him.

"You can go die asshole…" Elizaveta lit a match and burnt him to death just like Jeanne D'Arc. He screamed in pain as the scorching flames engulfed his body.

Liz smirked. She had always wanted to kill that creep; it was for the best that she would never hear that weird laugh any more.

She ran back home to come find her darling Gilbert, awake, making his favorite cereal. Damn cereal, she thought, it's like it's better than me!

"Ah ha!" She took a bowl, poured the cereal in, and drowned it with milk.

"Why 'ah ha'?" He said with a cute confused face.

"I know what I decided to eat for my breakfast," she said.

Gilbert seemed exhausted after the bar night and it made Elizaveta think that the guys were better than her. She would start killing everyone in one shot, at this rate. All she wanted to do was be alone with her love. As she reached out to give him a hug, the door bell rang. What the fucking hell could this be now, at this fucking hour?

"Hey I'm like totally saying hi now!" Damn it, Liz thought, it's that fucking Poland again. Lithuania was there too.

"Hey..." She said.

"Hi Gill! We heard the news so we got you some flowers."

"Thanks, it's cute for you guys to do this..." Gilbert said.

CUTE! What the hell, Liz thought, it's not cute, it's fucking damn stupid! I'm the one that you should call cute. DAMMIT Lithuania I'm gonna kill you! Why the hell is my love petting Lithuania?

Liz pondered killing him, but decided to do it later. She was _way_ too tired.

"Hey, Gilbert can I talk to you?" She grabbed his hand.

"Well we're gonna totally go now, see ya girlfriend," Poland said, winking and giving Elizaveta the fucking peace sign.

They left.

"So what did you want sweetie?" Gilbert asked, kissing her forehead.

"I…I just want to spend the day with you…"

He grinned.

"C'mon, let's go on the couch." He turned the TV on and they snuggled, this was what she liked, a nice and relaxed day where he gave all his attention to her.

The next evening, the doorbell rang. Liz opened the door and, finding Roderick, she quickly punched him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Gilbert said from across the room.

"I wanted to tell you your room service is here so it won't get cold." It wasn't what he really wanted…

**Hope you like this chapter and ****YES ****I will kill Lithuania just cause you went crazy over him, sis… I'm a little bit evil… oh and I thank Ukraine for telling me to kill Italy, but don't worry, she didn't want to kill Chibitalia. Plus he's too cute to kill. :) And sis you are kinda forcing me to write this before I write my own ff -_- T_T XD ****DX this is sooo tiring with my usb!**

**PrussiaNinja says: OMG KILL HIM!LIET MUST DIE!...no wait he's too cute..I TAKE IT BACK D:**

**PrusiaNinjaJr: pfft**

**BETA AN, by Happy Cheerio: Because I am a real Beta this time, I get an AN! Lol Sarah, your story is so hard to correct. It's ok though, I can do it cause I'm way better than Ben! =D**

**PrussiaNinja: Hey woah there Sealand! Are you saying I am a crappy Beta? I just don't have time to correct my sister's fics anymore because I have to deal with my own stories(wow that sounds mean…) so I am dumping this responsibility on my bff.**

**(ps, you should get ben to look over it quickly, just to make sure i got everything like you wanted. ask her to change names too)**

Emily _**A**__**W**__**E**__**S**__**O**__**M**__**E**__**!**_ :D


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